Nourishing Thoughts
Hello, friends.
About a month ago, all of my indoor plants were on the brink of death. My tallest plant was droopy, the succulent in the bathroom was yellowing near the base, and the variegated pothos above the television was dropping leaves in front of the screen, interrupting my Bravo programming. The small fiddle leaf fig on the dining room table was especially depressed, its lower leaves telegraphing distress using an accusatory shade of neon green.
I gave them all the side-eye for a while, letting them know that, in my humble opinion, perhaps they were being high maintenance. There was a lot happening. But when the pothos (a notoriously hard plant to kill) gave up the ghost, I was willing to admit I was part of the problem.
I bought plant food, dumped it into a gallon jug, and gave the survivors a stern talking-to as I let them drink their fill. Now, four weeks and two waterings later, they’re thriving. The fiddle leaf fig has been the most transformed: four new waxy, deep-green leaves have unfurled at the top, with more on the way. She may soon outgrow her pot.
The last two months have brought a lot of change to our house. After seven and a half years, I left my job in the library. I’m beginning a new career in corporate banking at the age of 45. Nolan finished his college applications, a sign that more change is just over the hill, now close enough to have a discernible outline against the horizon. Eli got his driver’s permit. I had valid reasons for my plant neglect, you see. I cry at least once a day for a variety of reasons: joyful grief, perimenopause, happiness, a heavy brain tiredness that drops like a thick curtain after learning about banking regulations and procedures for six hours. I’ve incorrectly recorded four appointment times in the last six weeks, showing up anywhere from twenty minutes late to an hour and a half early.
In one moment of chaos, on hold with the driving school that definitely did not send the certificate of completion, live chatting with IT about how to login to a program identified by another mysterious acronym, I looked at the fiddle-leaf fig, her shape transformed by the leaves at the top. All she needed was a small adjustment and there she was: growing.
Even in the midst of Big Change, our lives—our selves—are defined in the small moments. Change happens; we have feelings. But it’s the thoughts about those feelings that can nourish or drain. In the end, what brings me back to myself is my own attention. It’s an awareness of the tenor of my self-talk; it’s the choice to embrace self-compassion. It’s a nap. It’s slowing down where it’s possible. It’s prioritizing rest. It’s keeping the therapy appointment. It’s the acknowledgement that change and growth are necessary and unavoidable and often uncomfortable, even when the changes are wonderful, the sort that usher you into a new season of life that, like all seasons, was expected, hoped for, anticipated—but never promised.
This year brought so much change and joy into my life: a bestselling book, the fun of calling myself an author, and many of you, here, reading this right now. But the most gratifying piece is what this represents, for so much of it was born in a time when I was too scared to move about freely in my own life, my knuckles white with constant, desperate tension. It’s what I think about what I feel that matters, and I think that I’ve grown into a new version of myself. I have a new shape, sprouting leaves that belong only to me. What a gift.
So here’s a question for you as we close out 2024. Can you plant one new nourishing thought in your mind? Here’s mine: I will get there. I have about a thousand goals: everything from selling the novel to doing well at my new job to eating 100 grams of protein per day. And the temptation is for me to feel overwhelmed, to begin to believe that I’m behind, that I’m not making progress. But instead, I’m giving myself a thought to interrupt that cycle: I will get there (often said aloud to myself as, “You’ll get there, Jules”). Because I will get there, and perhaps “there” isn’t precisely what I imagine. Perhaps it’s different. Perhaps it’s better.
Wishing you nourishing thoughts as you enter 2025, friends. Working on what happens between your ears is a wonderful gift to give yourself every day of the year.
Happy holidays, friends.
xx, julie
What I Read in November and December
(and maybe some of October, I can’t really remember)
My reading during the last two months has been scattershot (shocking, I know). I’m having a hard time deciding what to read, thanks to intense decision fatigue. I’ve tried to start the Guncle sequel about four times and keep getting hung up in the first few chapters. But more and more, I’m giving myself the freedom to put down a book I’m not enjoying at that moment to make room for the right read. Still managed to find a couple of gems, and all the nitty-gritty is below.
⭐️ TWENTY YEARS LATER by Charlie Donlea 🎧
I sourced this recommendation from my buddy, Kelly (@kellyhookreadsbooks) when I needed a good audiobook to get me out of my slump. This one fit the bill. It’s a thriller that starts off a tiny bit on the gory side with a detailed description of a crime scene, but that’s the most intense part of the book. Flew through it.
⭐️ I HOPE THIS FINDS YOU WELL by Natalie Sue 📖
Similar vibes to Margo’s Got Money Troubles, this was another favorite. Snarky, tender, and full of spot-on descriptions of the frustrations of the modern office environment.
⭐️ PICTURES OF YOU by Emma Grey 📖
Emma is a gifted writer, and if you haven’t already read The Last Love Note you’ll probably want to run out and buy that one as soon as you finish this one. Emma knows how to write deep feelings. Think Taylor Jenkins Reid with an added dose of truth and beauty. I think this one would be fantastic on audio because I’m obsessed with Aussie and English narrators.
⭐️ THE PLAN by Kendra Adachi 📖
I’m only about halfway through but this book is already helping me have more nourishing thoughts about time management and creating space for what matters most. If you’re a woman, you’re going to want to read this book.
⭐️ THE LOVE ELIXIR OF AUGUSTA STERN by Lynda Cohen Loigman 🎧
This one was fantastic on audio! I love magical books and this one was a keeper if you’re into that genre.
STARTER VILLAIN by John Scalzi 📖
B&N highlighted this one as a pick and so I was motivated to re-try after putting this one in the DNF category earlier this year. Made it nearly halfway this time before discovering I didn’t care in the slightest about what happened in the book. It did make me LOL a couple of times but this one just isn’t for me. All books are not for all readers (and if you want to see proof of this, go look at my reviews on Goodreads, which is what I do when I’m bored and want to hurt my own feelings). 🤣
THE FIVE-STAR WEEKEND by Elin Hilderbrand 📖
I’m a big fan of this writing queen, but I didn’t like this book. I found it shallow and boring. Maybe if I’d read it on the beach with a piña colada in my hand I would’ve felt differently, but as it stood I was just annoyed.
❤️ HOW TO AGE DISGRACEFULLY by Clare Pooley 🎧
My top read of the past stretch, perfect on audio. I didn’t want this one to end. It was a balm for my tired little brain. This is firmly in the uplit category (A Man Called Ove, Eleanor Oliphant is Completely Fine, etc.) and I loved it. I think the coming month will have more uplit for me, especially on audio.
A Tiny Interview with Madeline Martin
I adore Madeline Martin—she’s a top-notch literary citizen who writes historical romance and well-researched, beautifully written historical fiction. I loved picking her brain in this Tiny Interview, especially about her choice to enroll in a MFA program to grow herself as a writer. Her most recent title—The Booklover’s Library—is my favorite yet. It was nominated as a Goodreads 2024 Favorite and placed 4th in the Historical Fiction category, with good reason. Pick it up and thank me later.
The Tiny Interview series will be on hiatus for a while (or indefinitely, who knows), as I turn to focus on writing the next draft of the novel. I’m so grateful for the authors who agreed to be part of this pet project!
One more nourishing thought before I go. I snapped the photo below before packing up my things to leave the school. This quote was taped into the interior of a cabinet when I returned to the library and it was one I looked at often, especially when my anxious brain began to guess at the future.
As we roll into the NEW YEAR, NEW YOU mania, I’ll be reminding myself that good, lasting change happens little by little. We move through our lives one step at a time.
See you next year, friends.
Banking???! 💙💙💙
Good luck, Julie!!